is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
