Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
