I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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