I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize