he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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