we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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