So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
