i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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