why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
