I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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