yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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