It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
