Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
