First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
