so explain again why im purple
no
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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