It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
