People with herpes should wear stickers.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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