I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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