Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
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