I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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