I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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