Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
