ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
