Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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