I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
