Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Are we still banned from the library?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
