They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
