ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
