very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
