i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Randomize
