You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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