dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
