Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
