i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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