You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
