I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
