I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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