this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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