That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
