he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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