Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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