If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
