i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
