hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
