where am i from again
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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