Non-Jews are for practice
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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