I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
