Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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