As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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