It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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