at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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