I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
