I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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