i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
